12:23:21am - 5/18/01
there was an ant on my desk, walking around.
i wonder if it knew where it wanted to go.
i watched it go in circles, up and down. i found
interesting how it looked like me, a while ago.
i was on the phone telling the story of a color blind boy,
as a supposition. he wore a red shirt, but he couldn't see red.
it didn't affect him, or caused him pain or joy.
until someone thought of telling him it was red.
he always thought it looked brown and he felt pretty sure,
but then he began to ask himself if that someone somewhat made sense.
and it was difficult, and it was complex. still, this he had to endure.
in reality, the case without the colors was very tense.
maybe the shirt is not quite brown. a little lighter
and kinda orange... i tried to tell him, once again.
and this orange is kinda darker,
without that much of yellow... it's plain red! plain!
maybe it wasn't for me to go there, or anyone.
perhaps he just needed space to keep trying to figure it out himself.
maybe it was something never to be mentioned in the conversation on the phone.
"i started it all, it's all my fault". for a moment, i blamed myself.
what do you think, color blind?
::: back :::